I’ve misplaced the map.
Hard to describe where this place is. Thoughts, emotions and a lack of motivation on loop. With no opportunities presenting themselves and the optimistic lens a little dusty. There are no visible signs…yet.
There’s patience, which is a virtue right? But for how long? If there were a human manual, now would be a great time for it to be passed around. Does anyone relate? Or has isolation got me loopy.
Some days I wake up raring to go, with the feel good energy. The one you feel when you’ve just finished your last day of work before your long awaited vacation. Or the finally happening girls night that’s been rescheduled four times already. Or simply when the sun is beaming on your face while sipping a fresh cup of *any heart warming beverage*.
Other days, not so much. It’s a strain getting out of bed. An effort to shower let alone workout. The mind is chatty. But not in the good way. You want to be left alone but someone is constantly trying to get their story heard.
The body is present but the mind is not. Pulling together stories of the past and stories yet to be experienced.
Even as I sit here writing. The all too familiar mental mob is telling me that this writing isn’t good enough. No-one’s going to read it.
That’s when my self compassion practice kicks in. Be your own bestie. Support yourself in these times. The same way we do a friend. It’s easy to be your own critic — how about trying to be your own supporter too?
It’s new, it’s different. It’s a foreign territory. No maps, manual or familiar signs. In the physical world you would take a minute or at least ask someone for directions. Yet when it comes to navigating our emotional world, we forget that our internal GPS requires an upgrade every now and then. And when it does perhaps reaching out and asking an experienced traveller for a little guidance might get us back to our path quicker.
It may be happening within us, but it doesn’t mean we have to navigate alone. We’re not the first ones to feel this, nor will we be the last.
I write because I know I’m not the only one going through the motions. Share your feels, be open to hearing something different, and be keen to have your perspective shifted.
Most importantly know you’re not alone. It’s the human condition.
